Friday, July 15, 2016

The four major things holding you back from being happy


Mandy Hale once said, “Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.” Happiness is important. Not only do we feel healthier both physically and emotionally when we’re happy, but we are also better people when we’re happy. When we’re authentically happy, we’re more compassionate towards others and can truly celebrate life because we see the joy and beauty in our own. We no longer look to external factors to generate our own happiness. We begin to discover that happiness is a state of mind, and a state of being. It’s time to unblock what’s holding you back from happiness. Unfortunately, so many people neglect to cultivate their own happiness because they don’t see the value, or are so broken, they don’t know where to begin. Here are four barriers from authentic happiness and how you can work to overcome them.

Fear
One of the number one things that hold individuals back from authentic happiness is the ability to overcome fear.
Fear is hard-wired in all creatures for the purpose of protection from danger, but our ability to distinguish between real fear (a venomous snake standing right in front of you) and artificial fear (the ability to talk in front of a group) can be tough because many of us read them all the same. Fear can lead to increased anxiety, declined productivity and major relationship setbacks among other things. One of the ways we can overcome fear is by consciously declaring you will no longer allow fear to dictate your life. You will no longer allow fear to keep you from speaking in front of a group of colleagues or peers. You will no longer allow fear to stop you from achieving goals you’ve always considered unachievable. You will no longer allow fear to keep you from taking your relationship to the next level. Get out of your head about whatever it is that’s holding you back from succeeding. Declare it, and it is yours.
 
A Setback
Another major thing that holds people back from authentic happiness are setbacks. A setback could be not getting into the school you wanted to get into, not getting the loan you thought you’d be approved for, or an even smaller daily life hurtle – anything that delays or stops progress. The reason setbacks sabotage is because people see the setback as a personification of their own failure. They think they didn’t get into the school they wanted to get into because they weren’t smart enough, or involved enough which makes them a failure. The reason they didn’t get the loan they wanted is because they have a poor credit which makes them a failure. But we are not failures because of our circumstances. We are so much more than our setbacks. Remember, your setback is the platform for your comeback.
 
Lacking Self-Confidence
Many people lack self-confidence and are unsure why they do. They just know that they get uneasy when they are in the presence of others, and it makes them uncomfortable. This lack of confidence can stem from you’re inability to see beauty in yourself, your position in life, your educational status, and your lack of wealth, among other things. There’s no way to be authentically happy when you’re not happy with yourself. You can build up your own self-confidence when you stop listening to the voices in your head that are attempting to sabotage you and acknowledge that you’re a person of value. If you try at something and you mess up, don’t let it stop you because what you didn’t accomplish today, you can try and accomplish tomorrow.
 
Envy
Too many people lack authentic happiness because they gauge what happiness is based on the lives (they believe) others are living, and as a result develop a sense of envy, or resentment. Envy, by definition is a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions or qualities. They think happiness comes from external things – they envy their boss’s position, their successful friend’s model looks, their favorite celebrity’s lifestyle, or even the new M3 the person zooming past them on the highway has. If they just had more, they would be happier. But happiness comes from the wholeness of our soul. We are not adequate as a result of what we have, but adequate because of the lives we live. 
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